Ghosts Of Our Past
by MaidofShadow
Summary: Sequel to The Price To Pay For Family. "Sam never forgot her, not really. He had tried to remove her from every part of his life, store away all his memories of her under lock and key; but he never really forgot her. Who knew that one tiny case would cause all the walls Sam had spent so long building to come toppling down?" Sam runs into Rae again. Sam/OC multichapter
1. Chapter 1

**This is the sequel to The Price To Pay For Family so please read that first or this won't make much sense. I had originally posted something different but I rewrote the story so please enjoy and please, please, please leave reviews.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 1:

Sam never forgot her, not really. He had pushed Rae from his mind, trying to get rid of her and everything she was. He did his best to wash her scent off him, even though it had been long gone, and rub away the ghost touches she had left behind. He had tried to dispose of the ache in his chest that went with her smile and the hollowness in his stomach that occurred whenever something reminded him of her. He had tried to remove her from every part of his life, store away all his memories of her under lock and key; but he never really forgot her.

He had dreamt of her often after he realized he loved her; everything from losing her, to kissing her, to accidently killing her, to just being with her. It had consumed him at first, the whirlwind of emotions he had felt. The only thing that was ever constant was the overwhelming sadness that came with each dream, no matter how happy or devastating they had been while he had been asleep. In fact, the ones where they had been happy were the worst, showing him everything he could've had, everything he'd lost and then tearing it away from him all over again.

The dreams became less frequent over time and even more so after he had stopped thinking about her. Soon, she was just someone in the back of his mind, something he barely paid attention to.

A lot had happened since Sam had woken up on that Wednesday. Sam had lost Dean to death and Hell and then gotten him back 4 months later. He'd met angels, accidentally caused a woman to get her eyes burned out, become "friends" with a demon, discovered (and lost) another brother and met a Prophet; and all in the space of a year or so.

By the end of all that, she was just someone he used to know and he almost felt ready to move on with his life (though maybe not in the romance area). Who knew that one tiny case would cause all the walls Sam had spent so long building to come toppling down and him to be exactly where he started; confused, empty and head over heels?

* * *

It was supposed to be a quick job; a routine haunting; in and out in 3 days, tops.

Dean had caught wind of it through Rufus and offered to take it to get his mind off the Seals and Lilith. Apparently, a girl had been murdered in her own home, the doors locked and bolted and no forced entry.

"And here's the kicker," Dean had said. "Apparently she was torn apart using a pocketknife."

"A pocketknife?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's…unusual."

They had driven all night before crashing in a motel near the house of the murdered girl. When they woke up the next day, they had gone straight there, flashing their FBI badges and interrogating the girls who lived in the old building. The place happened to be a sort of student dorm where 5 (now 4) girls lived, sharing the rent, and Dean had a good time flirting with practically all of them while Sam rolled his eyes.

They were on the third girl, an angry young woman by the name of Emily with pink hair and lots of piercings, when they were interrupted.

The door to the house had been slammed shut and Sam had just barely heard what sounded like keys being thrown onto a hard surface, probably a table.

"Hey Em, have you seen my blue binder?" a new voice asked from the hall before it stopped short.

Sam stood abruptly as he took in the figure in the doorway, his world crashing down around him. He stared at the girl, a petite platinum blonde who looked back at him with large chocolate coloured eyes. They held each other's gaze for what might've been anything from seconds to years before Dean cleared his throat, turning their attention back to him.

"I'm sorry; do you two know each other?" Dean asked pointedly, looking rather confused and somewhat pissed.

The girl in the doorway smiled, "oh, sorry, I was just surprised to see we had guests. No, we've never met before." She turned to Sam and gave him that smile that haunted the best of his dreams and the worst of his nightmares, sticking out her hand. "I'm Rae."

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**~Liliana**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second revised chapter! I like this better than the other one I had posted. Enjoy and review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 2:

She was different than Sam remembered. It was just the little things that caught his eye.

She was wearing more makeup than he was used to (not that there was anything wrong with that) and was dressed differently, looking like she had actually put some thought into what she was wearing rather than just throwing on whatever. Her hair was shorter, a lot shorter, and she was paler, which made her freckles much more obvious. Sam couldn't tell if he liked her new appearance or not with all the emotions swirling around inside him.

"Can I see your badges?" She asked after Dean had introduced them as FBI agents, apparently being done with Emily who'd left the room. Sam had just stood speechless and dumbfounded for a few moments, before composing himself and going back to his seat next to Dean.

"Of course," Dean said with a charming smile, taking out his badge again. Sam did the same.

She returned Deans smile and stared at both of their IDs for a few moments before nodding.

"What do you need to know?"

"We're here investigating Julie's murder." Dean began when Sam didn't say anything. "Were you home at the time?"

Rae shook her head. "No, I was out with the rest of the girls." She paused for a moment, looking down at her hands, smile gone. "Jenna found her when we got home. Luckily, I didn't actually see the body...or what was left of it."

Sam nodded understandingly, feeling the urge to wrap her in his arms and never let go.

He couldn't though. Even if she had known who he was, it wouldn't have worked. It was the little things; her looking down at her hands, the way she had returned Dean's smile, the fact that she was living here with all these other girls. She wasn't the Rae he had known and Sam couldn't do anything until he knew how changed she was.

That didn't stop his heart from aching as he looked at her, though.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said quietly. She looked up, surprised for some reason at his sentiment. She gazed at him for a moment, her mouth slightly open.

"Thank you," she replied in something near a whisper, not taking her eyes off him. Sam just nodded once more, keeping his gaze on her as well.

Dean cleared his throat once more, "what was your relationship with the victim?"

Rae took a moment to compose herself, seeming slightly flustered at the amount of sincerity she had heard in Sam's tone before turning back to Dean, but not before stealing one last glance at the younger Winchester.

"Well, we lived together but other than that we didn't really have one." Rae explained. "We didn't really get along well. In fact, we had gotten into a fight earlier that day and weren't speaking." She lowered her gaze again. "Seems so stupid now," she said quietly.

"Can you remember anything strange from that day or in the weeks before?" Sam asked, touching her knee lightly so she would look at him. He would've been lying if he had said that he didn't feel a thrill at touching her again. It confirmed that she was real, a tangible thing that was really right in front of him.

It occurred to him that he'd been so stupid the first time around. All the times he could've touched her, offered her comfort, kissed her. He had thrown them all away. They had hugged maybe once? Possibly twice? The entire time he had known her, he had hugged her once. Instead of taking care of her he had ignored her, pushed her away. A wave of self loathing and disgust rolled over him and he moved his hand away from her knee slowly. He didn't deserve to touch her.

It was too late though. Now he was hyperaware of her, if he hadn't already been before. He noticed how her chest rose and fell softly, a declaration to the world that yes, she was alive. He could see her swallow, a slow automatic motion and he watched as she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow slightly, moving away from him. For a moment he fantasised that he could hear her heartbeat, the ultimate confirmation that she was really here but he brushed it off as his own blood rushing through his ears.

"Strange how?"

"Cold spots, weird sounds, you know, the usual." Dean responded casually.

Sam watched her face closely, taking in all he could. To anyone who didn't know her, she would've seemed calm and rather oblivious but she was giving Dean that somewhat amused look that she had given Sam at the morgue when they'd first met; an expression that, while he hadn't realized at the time, told him he had been made. There was something else there too though; a masked fear in her eyes, barely noticeable. Sam's eyebrows knit together in worry but as soon as he saw it, it was gone, replaced with a guarded expression.

Sam wondered if he would've noticed that the first time around or if he had been blind to all her emotions, not just her love.

"No," Rae said, giving Dean a look. "I didn't see, hear or feel anything weird in the days leading up to her death."

She held out her hand to Dean, who shook it, before offering it to Sam once again. He also shook it and for a moment he really did feel her pulse fluttering under his fingertips, assuring him that this was all real.

Then she stood, saying, "Well I have a date so if you need to ask me anything else, just come around tomorrow," and left.

Sam's eyes followed her all the way out the door, his gaze lingering in the place where she had been just moments before, his thoughts on the heartbeat he had felt on his skin.

"Sam," Dean's voice snapped him back to reality, "If you're done looking like a lost puppy, we should be going."

Sam just nodded and stood, his thoughts settling on Rae once more as they headed out to the Impala. Just before getting in he stopped in his tracks, realizing what she had said.

"Wait…she was going on a date?"

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! It means a lot for me and means more chapters for you. Tell me what you think of the revision! Is Sam getting jealous?**

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**~Liliana**


	3. Chapter 3

**Third revised chapter! Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 3:

The job was a lot harder than they anticipated.

Sam was grateful that Dean didn't bring up his odd behaviour in the days that followed; the way he would get lost in thought in the middle of a conversation or how he was drinking more than usual. He assumed Dean thought it was just a side effect of the stress caused by the up and coming apocalypse. It didn't really matter to Sam, he was just glad Dean wasn't asking about it. Sam might've snapped or just spilled it all out if he had. God knows, he needed someone to talk to.

Sam hated himself more than ever in the days after his reunion (if you could call it that) with Rae. He forced himself to remember everything he had tried to forget, going over the memories with a fine tooth comb. He had been horrible to Rae, he realized. Why she had loved him, he didn't know, though he supposed he was grateful that she had or he might not have gotten through those 6 months without Dean. Still, it worried him. If she had stayed with him when they weren't even in a relationship and he had treated her so awfully, what would happen if she actually had a boyfriend?

It sickened him to think about someone treating Rae badly and her letting them, just as he had. He sickened himself.

Maybe that's what caused him to track down whoever she had went on a date with the night he had seen her again. It wasn't like they were getting anywhere else with things. The city was probably one of the most crime free places Sam had ever visited and there was no reason for anybody to be haunting Julie (the girl who'd been killed) or the building they had been living in. It just didn't make any sense.

Needless to say, the brothers weren't out of there in 3 days. In fact, they had been there a week before anything happened again and they only knew about it because of Sam's research on Rae's date.

His name was Calum Andrews and by the picture Sam had found on the internet, he was a rather good looking, if not a bit dorky, man with dark hair and kind eyes hidden behind glasses. Sam felt jealousy coiling like a snake in his stomach just at the sight of him but he pushed it aside. Sam had no right to be jealous.

Apparently, he was a doctor in the local hospital and quite good at his job. He was divorced but seemed to get along with his ex and had no children. All in all, a seemingly smart match for Rae.

Still, Sam wanted to check up on him. He needed to make sure that he was treating Rae alright, so he would at least have some piece of mind when they finished this job.

It was only after Sam had set up an appointment to meet with him that he'd heard the news. It was plastered all over the papers the next day, each headline screaming the same thing: _Doctor Sliced Up_.

"Looks like it's the same ghost," Sam said over breakfast with Dean.

Dean nodded, his mouth full of bacon as he replied with, "we need to find a connection between the victims."

Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat. A theory was forming in his mind but he didn't like it; he didn't like it one bit.

"What?" asked Dean after swallowing.

"They do have a connection." Sam said after a moment of silence, a horrible feeling settling in his stomach. "Rae."

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! Getting reviews are my favourite thing and they keep me motivated to write more chapters for you so let me know what you think!**

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**~Liliana**


	4. Chapter 4

**New chapter! Please re-read the story from the beginning since I rewrote the whole thing and posted the revised version. Enjoy this next chapter and tell me what you think!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Pride and Prejudice.**

Chapter 4:

Sam didn't know how Rae did it, he really didn't.

She had been waiting for them in their room, sitting on Sam's bed, when they had gotten back to the motel. Sam wasn't sure how she had found them or how she had gotten in but he brushed it off. With anyone else he would've been worried but Rae always did this. He almost smiled at the memories he had from when she'd been hunting with him of her randomly showing up during the oddest of times despite having no information as to where he was.

She looked up at them when they'd arrived, her eyes red and puffy and her cheek bruised and purple.

"Are you alright?!" Sam asked, alarmed. He forgot his place for a moment as he rushed over to her, taking her face in his hand and examining the mark. "What happened?"

"Its fine, Sam," she said, pushing him off lightly.

"Did he do this to you?" Sam's voice was low and dangerous and Rae looked at him in surprise, taking time to search each of his eyes and letting her gaze roam over his face.

"I thought you two said you didn't know each other." Dean commented coolly, raising an eyebrow at them. They broke their eye contact and Sam stepped away from Rae, realizing what he had done. He felt like punching himself in the face. What was he thinking? He had made it clear as day that he cared about her and knew things about her personal life. What was wrong with him?

"Wait a minute," Sam said, realizing something as he turned back to Rae, his expression becoming one of accusation. "How do you know my name?"

"Bobby called," Rae replied simply. Dean and Sam all but gaped at her.

"I'm sorry, what?" Dean asked after he had gotten over his initial shock.

"Well clearly your FBI badges were fake." Rae explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I mean, Darcy and Bingley? Really?" She looked at Dean. "I didn't peg you as the romance novel type, especially ones from the 19th century." Dean's face reddened.

"It was Sam's idea," he muttered. Rae smiled and turned to Sam.

"That makes a lot more sense," she agreed, giving him a once over and a nod.

Dean coughed, "back to the Bobby thing?"

Rae shrugged. "Sam's phone went off when I got here so I picked it up. It was some guy named Bobby looking for Sam and after that I just decided that you," she looked at Dean, "couldn't be a Sam so it had to be him," she looked at Sam.

Dean just stared at her for a moment, opening and closing his mouth. Sam was also at a loss for words but for entirely different reasons. Maybe this Rae was more like the first Rae than he had originally assumed. That thought filled him with too many different emotions to count, so he stored them away for later.

"What happened?" Sam asked again, repeating his earlier question. The smile faded from Rae's face and she hugged herself, looking almost as vulnerable as she had the night she had admitted she loved Sam. It broke his heart to see her that way.

"It was an accident," she started by saying.

"Did he do this?" Sam interrupted.

"Who?" Dean asked. Both of his brother and the brown eyed girl ignored him.

Rae hesitated before nodding. Sam set his jaw and clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. He knew it.

"But it's not what you think!" Rae added quickly, raising her hands as if to sooth Sam. "He didn't mean to."

"That's what they all say," Sam managed to get out from behind his clenched teeth. Dean was giving Sam strange looks but the younger Winchester was paying him no mind.

"It really was an accident though," Rae insisted, stepping closer to Sam. Her eyes were still red. "He didn't hear me come up behind him and he accidentally elbowed me in the face. He apologized for an hour afterwards." She took another step towards Sam, looking him straight in the eye even though she was about a foot shorter than him. "I promise he didn't mean it."

Sam's gaze softened for a moment as he looked at her, taking in all she was, even in the state she was in. He noticed how her eyelashes stuck together with tears and how her cheeks were slightly flushed. He saw all that and more, everything that made her his Rae and everything that made her her own Rae.

"Why are you here?" He asked quietly.

"Because you guys were asking me about ghosts, right?" She waited until Dean nodded before continuing. "And I think I'm being haunted."

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! I literally stayed up until 1 am to write this whole thing again so please, please, please drop me some reviews (and read the previous chapters again so this makes sense). More reviews mean more chapters, no reviews mean no chapters. **

**Thanks!**

**~Liliana**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, I'm back! I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. I've been incredibly busy with a million projects due and people I care about ending up in the hospital unexpectedly and other people I love telling me that they're moving and so on. It's just been a mess and I was rather discouraged at the lack of reviews as well. Hopefully now that things have settled down some I can write a bit more and more often but as I've often said, reviews really help ;)  
**

**Again, I'm so sorry, please accept this chapter (the big reveal about Rae's past chapter!) as a gift to make up for my absence. Enjoy!**

**PS if you haven't gone back and re-read the story yet, please do that. I rewrote it before posting last chapter so if you haven't done that yet, you probably should. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 5:

Sam's head was reeling.

Rae had fallen asleep in his bed as he paced back and forth. Dean had offered to protect her for the time being after all she had told them. He was giving Sam strange looks but he knew better than to ask the younger Winchester what his problem was. Sam would just bite his head off. It wasn't his fault, not really, but he couldn't even begin to understand Sam's situation and in all reality, Sam didn't want him to. Rae was his secret, something he couldn't share with Dean; something he didn't want to share with Dean.

All Sam wanted was to save Rae. It dominated his thoughts until he felt suffocated and trapped.

"I'm going for a walk," he told Dean, grabbing his jacket and leaving before waiting for an answer.

It was only after he had somehow ended up in an all-night diner roughly a mile away from their motel that Sam actually let Rae's words sink in.

"I had a boyfriend; Marc," she had told them uncertainly seeming unsure if that's where she should start. Sam had just nodded encouragingly and offered her a seat on the bed across from him and Dean. "We only went out a few times, we weren't really very serious. Well," she paused and looked at her hands. "At least I thought so." She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet Sam's once more and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. "I found out later that he had apparently been in love with me for years. I broke up with him when he started to follow me to work, check my phone without my permission, show up at my apartment in the middle of the night; you know, the usual."

"He was stalking you?" Dean asked incredulously though his disbelief seemed to be more directed at Marc's actions rather than Rae. She just nodded.

"After I broke up with him it got a lot worse though." She shuddered as if remembering something rather unpleasant.

Sam remembered thinking that this was a side of Rae that he hadn't seen before. He realized it had always been there though, just out of sight. He'd just been too wrapped up in himself to notice it.

"He attacked me one night, telling me I broke his heart." Rae continued and Sam had clenched his fist ever so slightly, an overwhelming urge to protect Rae washing over him. "He threatened to kill himself if I didn't take him back. Then he threatened to kill me." She sighed and for a moment she looked much more tired than she should have at her age. "Someone had called the police though. I suppose I should be grateful. They probably saved my life." She had avoided Sam's eyes when she spoke again. "They shot him though. He had tried to stab one of the officers and they shot him."

Dean had looked at Sam before asking, "He didn't happen to use a pocket knife, did he?" referring to the killer's MO.

Rae nodded. "That's why it occurred to me that it might be him. I suppose his ghost is still watching me and still trying to protect me in his own twisted way. I mean everyone who's been killed has hurt me in some way, intentional or otherwise. They didn't deserve to die though."

"When?" Sam had interrupted suddenly, a thought occurring to him.

"What?" Rae had asked, confused as to what he was really inquiring about.

"When did this happen?" Sam tried again, prompting her with raised eyebrows and a calm tone.

"Uh, he began stalking me about…"she trailed off as if trying to remember, "2 years ago? I think? He died a few months ago though."

Suddenly it all made sense to Sam. That was what had changed. He looked at Rae as if discovering her in a completely new light.

She had been running. The whole time she had been with him she had been running. That's why she was so willing to come with him, so eager to move from place to place. That's why she had gone into post-mortem examination. That's why she preferred to be around the dead than the living. That's why she had had no friends, no family to leave behind when she went with him. She had always been running.

Thinking back she had always been looking over her shoulder, always careful that wouldn't be found. Maybe if he'd been paying more attention he would've noticed how she avoided hunts in certain locations or how she good she already was at hiding. Maybe he would've wondered more at who had had taken as a partner. Maybe he would've put 2 and 2 together when the Weeping Lady had attacked her right after she had told him that the ghost only tried to drown people who had broken someone's heart beyond repair.

It didn't matter now, he supposed. He knew now. It was too late anyways. When he had known Rae before, Marc had still been very much alive and very much a threat. Now things were different though. Because of the shift in the timeline she had decided not to run and he had died. All they had to do now was burn his bones.

"Where's he buried?" Sam had asked, relieved that it would be so easy. He should've known it was never that easy.

"Why?" Rae had wanted to know and Sam tried not to focus on the way her eyebrows furrowed when she was confused.

"We need to burn his bones so he can be at rest." Dean had explained. "Either that or whatever else he might be attached to."

Sam put his head in his hands, blocking out the light of the bright diner as her words echoed in his mind.

"He was cremated." Rae had replied grimly, though she was incredibly calm as she spoke her next words. "I think you're going to have to kill me."

**Dun dun dun! Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! Reviewing would mean so much to me and mean more chapters for you so please do it. I hope you liked that chapter and it was enough to tide you over until the next one. Tell me what you think and again, please forgive me for my absence, I swear it was unintentional.**

**Thanks a ton,**

**~Liliana**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! New chapter time! Sorry if this isn't great, I wrote it at 3 AM or something and I had writer's block so just bare with me. There will only be a few more chapters after this (probably 3 at the _most_) but it's likely that I will write a third story to make this a trilogy that will be less sad/more Sam x Rae (if you want it, please tell me in a review!). I just need to finish this story so I can focus on my other ones for a while. Anyway, that's enough talk. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Guest reviewer Melken, the only one who reviewed last chapter. I hope you like it!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 6:

Dean was Rae's boyfriend.

Just the thought of those 4 little words made Sam's blood boil. Why had she chosen his brother over him? Was he not good enough for her?

A voice in his head reminded him that no, he wasn't good enough for her. He never would be. Still, that didn't stop him from being so filled to the brim with jealousy that he felt as if he might spill over. He knew that he shouldn't have been jealous, that he was nothing to her and he had acted like she was nothing to him. It wasn't his place. Even so, his heart sunk a little each time he thought of the two of them together.

Sure, it wasn't a real relationship. It was only an excuse for Rae to use to explain why she would be going away for a few days. Her housemates were bound to be curious. Staying a few nights with a new boyfriend would generate the least amount of questions (well, immediate questions that is. Who knew how they would be when she got back) and Dean was the obvious choice.

Rae had chosen Dean immediately. She hadn't even batted an eye. Dean had looked as surprised as Sam felt but as he sat in their motel room, waiting for the "couple" to return, it became more and more clear to Sam why Rae had chosen Dean over him.

Back when Rae and Sam had been together for those months, Sam had picked up on a lot of Dean like qualities about the white haired girl, like how stubborn she could be or her love for the Impala. Even his gun had fit perfectly in her hand, almost as if it were made for her. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

Dean and Rae would be perfect for each other. The only reason Sam had ever had a chance before was because Dean wasn't around. Even now, in this timeline, Dean and Rae were already getting along well.

She had spent 2 days with them before having to go get her things and more often than not Sam would look up to see the two deep in conversation or with their heads put together. For a moment this thought almost made Sam bitter until he realized that he wasn't allowed to be bitter. He had spent his time being bitter. All 6 months without Dean were spent being bitter. Rae didn't need to see that side of Sam again, even if she didn't know she'd seen it a first time. The best thing Sam could do now was be the Sam he should've been when he first met her. Whatever happened from then on would happen and there was nothing any of them could do about it. If she wanted to be with Dean, he wouldn't stop her. At least he could trust the older Winchester to treat her right. He wasn't sure if he could even trust himself with that.

Anyway, he might not have to worry about this much longer. As soon as the hunt was over, they would leave. It was that simple. Sam already knew that he wouldn't let Rae die, he couldn't. They would stop Marc's ghost somehow, they had to, and then they'd go from this city, just as they'd done with so many others before. Sam had decided long ago, maybe even before the case had started, that he didn't want Rae to be a part of the Life. The less she knew the better. As much as it hurt Sam to think it, it would be better if they never saw each other again. That way Rae could continue on with her life, find a nice guy, settle down and move on; be normal. Who was he to come waltzing back into her life and mess it all up? He'd done enough already, both in this timeline and the last.

Sure, if she wanted to be with Dean, she could try, but he doubted that they'd be here long enough for her to grow attached to his brother. Still, Sam could never be certain. He wasn't sure when Rae had fallen for him the first time around. Perhaps she fell in love fast.

It angered him that he didn't know these things about her, didn't already have the answers to these questions. He should've known. He should've asked. He should've done a lot of things.

Sam's only comfort was that Dean had shown no signs of specific attraction to Rae. He had tried flirting with her of course but Sam had glared at him so intensely that he had backed down. Even when she had announced that he was to be her fake boyfriend, his eyes had grown wide and his brows had furrowed.

"Really?" he had asked, turning to Sam after she nodded a conformation and went to get her jacket. "I thought for sure she'd ask you, considering all you two do is stare at each other."

Dean had been wrong though and Sam hadn't been chosen. He doubted Rae would ever choose him again and while that thought caused his chest to hurt and his heart to feel heavy, another part of him was glad; just as he would be when they left this place. Keeping her safe was more important than any other feelings he might've had. He would even prefer Dean to hurt her rather than have her come with them because she wanted to be with the sandy haired brother. Sam would rather Rae have a broken heart than one that had stopped working altogether. Feeling pain was preferable to dying and he needed to keep her safe. He had to.

Just then a large crash pulled him out of his thoughts, causing him to jump to his feet and aim his gun at the sound. It seemed to have come from right outside.

Sam moved towards the door slowly, holding the gun at eyelevel and treading softly. Just as he was about to turn the knob, the door flew open to reveal a very dishevelled Rae standing on the other side. She had a split lip and a bloody nose that dripped onto her ripped shirt. Her pants were stained with what could've been blood or mud and she had a large blue bruise blossoming on her neck.

She stared at Sam then with wild eyes that made his stomach clench and breathing so ragged that he thought her lungs would give way right then and there.

"What happened?" Sam asked quickly, grabbing onto her shoulders to get her to focus. In all his months with her, he'd never seen her like this.

"Dean," she gasped as she all but collapsed into his arms. "He has Dean."

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! More reviews mean more chapters and it means a ton to me. Reviews really make my day and I'd really like to know what you think and if you want another story to complete the trilogy. That one will be more fluffy than this one and likely have less angst (I make no promises though). Let me know if you want it!**

**Thanks,**

**~Liliana**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I'm back. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, I just had no time and major writer's block but I managed to get over it. This chapter is probably less good than the others and shows a lot less of Sam's inner thoughts than usual but I hope you like it anyways. How many of you would read a sequel to this if I wrote it? Let me know in a review! Anyway, until then I hope you enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 7:

It took them less than ten minutes to get to Rae's house. On the way she tried to explain what had happened but her thoughts were so tangled and Sam's worry for his brother, and her, so strong that he got very little of the story at all. By the time they reached the house Sam had learned that Marc's ghost had been waiting for them when they went to pick up Rae's things. He had heard her say that Dean was her boyfriend and he had went into a rage, throwing the eldest Winchester across the room. When Rae had stood in his way, he had attacked her as well, pushing her violently against a dresser. The other girls in the house had fled in fear at some point throughout this whole thing and eventually Rae had managed to escape and had gone to the only person she knew she could go to.

"Marc!" Sam roared as he entered the building, his salt riffle out and ready and Rae trailing along behind him, blood still dripping from her nose.

"You're back," said a voice from behind them, causing them to spin around. The voice belonged to a dark haired man with a gunshot right through the middle of his skull. His eyes were wild and his smile, slow and slightly crazed. "I knew you'd be back. You love me. I know you do." He took a step towards Rae, his eyes on her the whole time as he ignored Sam completely.

_Bang!_ The salt riffle went off and Marc disappeared for a moment, giving Rae and Sam enough time to scramble up the stairs until he appeared again at the top of the steps.

"Why are you running?" Marc asked. "Don't you want to be with me?"

_Bang!_

This time he was gone long enough for them to reach Rae's room before he reappeared again, angry now.

"Enough!" Marc screamed, throwing Sam towards the wall. He saw Dean lying across the room, unconscious.

Sam tried to get up but his brain was too fuzzy, his head too dizzy for him to stand properly. He shot the salt riffle once more and by pure luck it hit Marc, causing him to vanish.

"Sam!" Rae cried as she rushed to his side. Suddenly her hands were on the side of his face and her eyes were inches from his and Sam's brain was fuzzy for an entirely different reason. She smoothed back his hair, trying to wipe the blood from his forehead before being pulled back aggressively to hit the bed.

"Stay away from her!" Marc yelled at Sam, using his energy to lift him up and slam him against the ceiling. Once, twice, three times. Sam eventually lost count. He couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't feel anything but pain and his head pounding, throbbing, pulsing.

That is, until Rae's voice cut through it all. It was desperate and childlike and unlike anything he had ever heard before.

"Stop!" She screamed, desperation in her tone. "Stop! Please, Marc, I'll do anything! Just please, stop!"

And stop he did. Sam was dropped to the floor, barely conscious, unable to keep his focus on anything except Rae's voice. Sweet and lovely Rae who had cared for him when no one else had. Wonderful and beautiful Rae who had patched him up and believed him when everyone else thought he was crazy. Amazing and kind Rae who had helped him get his brother back and was now exchanging herself for him; for both of them. Perfect, perfect Rae, who, in that moment, Sam's mind processed, was making a horrible mistake.

"Anything?" Marc asked slowly, twisted hope in his voice.

"Anything," Rae said convincingly. "I want to be with you Marc, I do. Leave them out of it."

"You can't have another boyfriend if you're with me," Marc commented looking over at Dean's sleeping form.

Rae took a step towards him, her tears gone and her voice calm and soft.

"Him? He's not my boyfriend. We just had to tell people that so we could get my stuff, so I could go back to his place and steal something to bring you back."

She smiled at Marc in a way that would make Sam dizzy even without a head injury.

"Trust me. I want to be with you. I always have. I've just been trying to figure out a way to get back to you." She was face to face with the spirit now, not even glancing in the Winchester's directions. "And I think now I have one."

"What?" Marc asked with barely contained excitement. He seemed unable to believe his luck. Thankfully, so did Sam. Rae was up to something, anyone could tell but he wasn't sure how this would help them in any long lasting way.

Blood was rushing back to his brain now; making the throbbing in his head slow and his breathing begin to even out. Maybe she was just buying time. That would make sense. Just waiting until Sam could get up and get them out of this. The only question was how.

"Well," Rae said, turning away from Marc for just long enough that Sam caught a glimpse of the despair flash behind her eyes before she looked over her shoulder playfully. "Do you still have that knife?"

"Why?" the ghost asked suspiciously.

"Why do you think?" Rae laughed. "So I can join you! Just two little slits," she said, pointing to each of her wrists in turn, "here and here, and we'll be together again."

The knife. Sam's cloudy mind focused on that detail, finding it important but his thinking not being clear enough for him to truly go anywhere with that information.

Marc hesitated, causing Rae to step towards him again.

"Don't you want that?" she whispered, reaching out as if to touch the ghost. "To have me with you?"

"Yes," Marc decided, clearly too caught up in Rae to notice Sam beginning to regain his footing.

"Then give me the knife," Rae said with a little excited smile. "Then it's just you and me. Until the end of time. Just like you wanted. Just like _we_ wanted."

Marc grinned at her horridly and pulled up one of the floorboards, revealing a small space underneath filled with insulation and a pocketknife.

"Wow," Rae breathed, gazing as it as she bent down to pick it up. "How you get it here?"

"You didn't really think I'd leave you, did you?" Marc asked, standing behind her as if he wanted to put his hands on her shoulders.

"No," Rae replied with a small smile and a shake of her head as she looked up at the apparition. "You're right."

"I managed to sneak it into one of your bags until you brought it up here and then I found a good hiding place. I had to so I could be with you; forever and always."

Suddenly Sam understood what Rae had who knows how long ago.

"You genius," Rae said with what seemed to be excitement, her eyes shining. Sam hoped Marc didn't realize the tears were from fear, not happiness. "I'll be with you soon."

She picked up the knife slowly before turning ever so slightly in Sam's direction, her eyes pleading with him to understand as she gave him a nod.

"Now."

_Bang!_ The salt riffle went off once more, causing the ghost to shriek and vanish.

"Come on!" Rae all but screamed as she ran over to Sam, doing her best to help him up.

He tried not to focus on her arms encircling his waist or her rapid heartbeat pressing against his side as she aided him. Now was not the time, he told himself. Now was the time to make sure that heart keptbeating.

Once he was standing she placed the knife on the floor before stepping back. Marc appeared right over her shoulder then, angry and murderous but without thinking Sam shot him again before going for the knife. He was going to protect Rae. He hadn't before but he wouldn't make that mistake again. She was safe with him. She had to be.

She was fumbling with the gasoline in the duffle he had brought in, dropping it as she removed it from the bag. In the mean time Sam unloaded one of the cartridges of salt from the gun over the knife, just before Rae managed to throw gas on it.

"What are you doing?!" Marc shrieked as he appeared again, just when Sam was doing his best to find his lighter. "How dare you?!"

He threw Rae back against the door, causing a large cracking sound to come from her back or head, Sam couldn't tell, before she crumpled to the ground.

"Rae!" someone was shouting. Eventually Sam realized it was him.

A renewed determination spread through him like a wildfire and he ripped the metal bedpost from the mattress, hoping to all that was holy that it was iron before flinging it at the apparition. Marc disappeared momentarily but a moment was all that Sam needed.

By the time he had appeared once more, his hands much too close to Sam's neck for his liking, the youngest Winchester was already dropping a lit flame onto the knife. Marc screamed as his body was engulfed with fire, trying somehow to escape his fate while Sam watched, taking pleasure in seeing him burn.

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! It means so much to me and means more chapters for you. I really want to know what you think. Sorry it isn't amazing but Marc the stalker ghost has been defeated, yay! And Rae lived! Double yay! What will this mean for Sam and Rae? There will be at least one more chapter before a sequel, if I make one. Would you read a sequel or not? Please let me know and tell me what you think!**

**Thanks,**

**~Liliana**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow ok everyone, I'm so sorry I haven't been around for like a year. I can't believe it's been so long. I just got super caught up with school and a whole bunch of personal problems that included a really substantial writer's block (that I'm still not entirely over which is why I haven't updated anything else either) due to those problems and substantial heartbreak. Please forgive me and enjoy the last chapter of Ghosts Of Our Past! If you want a final part to the trilogy, just tell me in a review and keep following this story. If people want it I'll post another "chapter" here that will just be me telling you what it will be called and that it is up. Anyways, without further ado, I am sorry again that I've been gone for so long and I hope you enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Chapter 8:

Everyone had ended up in the hospital. Their injuries weren't too bad in the end which was the best luck Sam had had in the past, well, couple of years he supposed. Everything seemed worse than it was and they managed to get out of the hospital in three days without any physiotherapy being needed.

Sam had never been happier to see Rae in his life.

She emerged from the doors of the building, her short, white hair tousled and messy and her large brown eyes alive and bright.

She made a beeline straight towards the brothers, both of which had been released the day before, though Dean suggested they stay one more in town with a pointed look at Sam. Deep down the younger Winchester was grateful to his older brother, who had understood what he needed and had let him have it, knowing Sam never would've allowed it on his own.

Part of him had wanted to leave in the middle of the night, no note, no goodbye, no nothing to Rae; just an empty motel room and a few odd memories. He wanted to leave this part of his life behind. He didn't need to be getting attached to something he couldn't have, not after already losing all the progress he had made in the last year. He didn't need to be persuaded to stay, to have something change his mind and make him forget about the apocalypse and Lucifer and the fate of the world, because if anything could do that it would be Rae.

Sam knew without a doubt in his mind that if Rae somehow had fallen in love with him in the past few days and asked him to stay, he would. He knew that the apocalypse would mean nothing anymore, that dying didn't matter if he was with her. He knew that with a single smile he would give up everything for her and that terrified him.

But another part of him needed to see her again. He needed closure, needed to be absolutely sure that she was alright before he left. It was purely selfish, he knew that, but he wanted to see her eyes sparkle again and watch her glow in the way that only she could. He even fantasized about kissing her sweet lips, though he knew it would never happen.

He wanted her, in every essence of her being. Whether it was through speech or physical contact, dreams or reality, Sam wanted her. Seeing her was enough. For a moment he had her, everything she was right in front of him and although he could only touch with his eyes, his heart felt it all the same, and he knew that Dean had really been helping him when he suggested they stay a little longer.

And then suddenly he had her in a completely different way. She was in his arms and warm and soft and _alive._ He could feel her heart beating and hear her lungs breathing and for a moment, everything was within reach, was just for him; the way her smile gleamed and her fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt as she hugged him tightly.

The moment was over all too quickly though and she had moved onto Dean, smiling the same smile and embracing him the same way.

He wasn't special, he thought, almost bitterly but not quite allowing himself that luxury. Not to her, not here, not now.

Sam wondered briefly if there were other timelines where the pair of them were fated to meet. He wondered if they were ever enemies, ever lovers, ever friends. He wondered if there was one, just one, where they were happy. For a moment, Sam found himself thinking that maybe he'd be alright with that. Maybe, the knowledge that somewhere, sometime, Rae and him were together and content, would be enough to make up for the fact that they weren't that way here.

But the train of thought got shut down quickly by the youngest Winchester himself, knowing that he was greedy and that that would never be enough. That he'd only be completely satisfied when he had Rae herself, here, in this form, with this version of him.

Sam supposed he'd better learn how to live dissatisfied then.

"Thank you," Rae said, eyes shining as she stepped away from Dean, pulling Sam back to reality. "Thank you both so much."

And the way her voice cracked slightly brought back a thousand memories that Sam couldn't decide if he wanted or not. Of motel rooms and late nights and a broken glass and an even more broken heart.

"Always," He found himself saying.

She looked at him then, eyes filled with something he didn't quite understand, though he supposed that _she_ was something he didn't quite understand; a universe disguised as a person, something he wanted to explore forever, discover until the end of time. But despite him not understanding, his chest felt warm; though he couldn't figure out if the heat was pleasant or something that burned him inside out.

"Take me with you."

The words were directed to both of them but her gaze was only on the younger of the two as she spoke, sending him reeling, spinning, falling.

"What?!"

"Sam," she said, gripping his arm lightly and using a tone that made him go still. "I've been living afraid for so long. Even after Marc died I felt like he was still around, was still something that was hanging over me. I don't feel that way anymore. If I can do anything to stop others from feeling that way, I will. I have medical training and I'm good, I swear. I know what I'm doing with a needle and I'm smart. I can cook and I actually have quite a lot of physical energy and I'm willing to learn. Teach me anything and I'll pay attention and work hard." She looked up at Sam, pleading with her eyes. "I need to get out of here. I can't be where it all happened. I just can't. And if you don't take me with you then I'll just go alone; without training, without weapons, without information and knowledge. It's your choice."

Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry as she made nearly the same speech she had months ago in her apartment after their first hunt. For some reason, he'd never thought it'd come back to this; that the outcome would be the same as before. He'd thought he'd have the strength to stop her if he had to, to tell her that the Life wasn't for her.

He'd thought wrong.

_Maybe,_ a small voice in his head said once Rae was grinning at him and his brother with a nearly blinding smile as they told her they'd need to talk it over (which both he and she knew meant yes), _maybe you will be able to tell her how you feel after all. _

He tried to push the voice down, and the feeling that came with it. He didn't deserve to feel the way he did towards Rae. He didn't have a right to.

Still, the voice managed to get in one more line before Sam could stop it; the dark haired Winchester feeling an unexplainable thrill at the thought.

_Maybe you will be able to let her know you love her._

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! It would mean the world to me and would let me know what you thought of this story. I know this chapter is short but for this story there isn't much left to say (plus still got my writer's block so...). You all have been great to write for but I don't really want to end it here, even if this particular fanfic is over, so let me know in a review if you would read one final story featuring Sam and Rae. I hope you liked it and I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here. I doubt it was worth it but hopefully the (possible) end to the trilogy will be. Thank you all for everything once again and be sure to tell me your thoughts on this whole thing. You've all been wonderful.  
**

**See you in the final installment!**

**~Liliana**

**PS thanks again everyone**


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